The Wizarding World News

Writing School with Ash
Creative Corner with Hemlock
Dear Severus Snape with Verity
Competition Queries with Katie Alden
Team Challenge with Ruhi
Beta How To with Accio
League Table

Follow all important events of the International Wizarding School Championship here in the Wizarding World News. We also have a live Twitter feed, Facebook and an Instagram account for you to get day by day updates!

Writing School with Ash

This season, the Writing School article will be separated into two categories, both of which will be judged in writing school submissions. These categories are writing technique and SPaG.

Writing Technique: Hook, Line, & Sinker

A bad first sentence can be a big turn off. Some readers are more forgiving than others, but a smart writer stacks all the cards in their favour, so here’s what you need to do for a great story opening:

Incite reader curiosity.

“There is no lake at Camp Green Lake.”—Holes by Louis Sachar

To incite curiosity, introduce an attention-catching detail. It can be anything from “The sticky note on my forehead made my skin itch,” to “The stray cat on the other side of town liked to walk on two legs and swing a cane when it thought no one was watching.” *

Readers want to be impressed from the word ‘go’, so you need to give them something that will spark their curiosity and make them want to read on.

You want to avoid anything ordinary (“I woke up at seven and started my day”) as well as exposition (“He liked sleeping in”) because there’s no mystery there.

You should also stay away from worldbuilding, uninteresting descriptions, clichés, too large a cast of characters, and dream sequences.

Set up your story’s tone.

“We slept in what had once been the gymnasium.”—The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

Your first sentence can be funny: “Gran sat in the sink again, singing old sailor songs and cursing anyone who came near.” Or it can be scary: “I hear everyone who visits my grave, their voices muffled through six feet of dirt and one inch of cheap plywood.”

The only rule is that the tone you use in your first sentence should be present throughout the story.

A story’s tone can evolve, but the first sentence should reflect that evolution, which is why they’re so tricky. Many authors write their first sentence last or edit it a lot once they’ve finished their story.

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo has one of the best openings I’ve read in years.

“I have a heart for every year I’ve been alive.

There are seventeen hidden in the sand of my bedroom. Every so often, I claw through the shingle, just to check they’re still there. Buried deep and bloody. I count each of them, so I can be sure none were stolen in the night.”

The first few chapters had me hooked, but then the tone changed. The narrator’s dark voice vanished and became bland, and so the story disappointed me.

Introduce your main character.

“Coraline discovered the door a little while after they moved into the house.”—Coraline by Neil Gaiman

Your main character will be your readers’ tether to the story, so you need to introduce them quickly, if not in the first sentence, then in the first or second paragraph.

Do not include any backstory. We’ll learn the character’s history as the story progresses. Instead, devote the first scene to showing readers why they should read thousands of words about this character. Make the character interesting.

Introduce a problem.

“They shoot the white girl first.”—Paradise by Toni Morrison

In multi-chapters, the inciting incident doesn’t have to happen in the first scene. In The Hunger Games, Katniss’s sister is chosen to participate in the deadly Hunger Games at the end of the first chapter (scene ≠ chapter). But in a one-shot, the inciting incident should happen much earlier.

An inciting incident is something that changes your character’s life, like receiving an invitation to a magical school or their spouse disappearing. The character will then spend the rest of the story trying to fix whatever problem the inciting incident started.

Remember: “A problem your character can walk away from is a book a reader can walk away from.”

* Kudos to Headmistress Hemlock for coming up with all the examples.

Grammar and Punctuation Section: Special Punctuation

Semicolons:

Semicolons and commas are not interchangeable. Here’s when to use semicolons.

To join two independent clauses that are closely linked but lack a coordinating conjunction.

The parents stood on one side of the room; the teachers stood on the other.

There are seven coordinating conjunctions: for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so.

An independent clause is a clause that has a subject and a verb and expresses a complete thought.

Before a transitional phrase.

Tom hated apples; as such, he never ate apple pie.

A transitional phrase is an expression that helps you introduce an idea that is related to what you previously said.

“For example”, “nevertheless”, and “on the other hand” are all transitional phrases, but there are many others.

In a list that contains commas.

I ordered the following: fish, which is a good source of protein; berries, which are high in fibre; and tomatoes, which are high in vitamin C.

The rule with lists is to use commas between the listed items, but when the items contain commas, use semicolons so that the list doesn’t become confusing.

Before a coordinating conjunction in a lengthy sentence that contained commas in the first clause.

I don’t recommend applying this rule to your creative writing. If ever you feel the need to use a semicolon like this, it means that your sentence is too long and too convoluted and that you need to edit it.

Dashes:

Dashes indicate emphasis or interruption. There are two types: en-dashes (–) and em-dashes (—). The UK preference is to use en-dashes with spaces on either side, while the US prefers em-dashes without spaces for creative writing. Journalism tends to use em-dashes with spaces. Use whichever combination you prefer, but remain consistent.

Never capitalise the first word after a dash, and never add a space after the dash if there isn’t one before it; it’s two spaces or none.

Each computer manufacturer and word processor has its own shortcuts for typing dashes, so be sure to look up those that apply to you.

Here’s when to use dashes:

To offset information.

UK: I went to Manchester – where Julie lives – and spent the day shopping.

US: I went to Manchester—where Julie lives—and spent the day shopping.

To show an abrupt change of thought.

UK: I went to – oh, never mind.

US: I went to—oh, never mind.

To show an interruption.

“I went to—”

The UK and the US use the same punctuation for that one.

UK: “I went to Manchester” – she points it out on the map – “and spent the day shopping.”

US: “I went to Manchester”—she points it out on the map—”and spent the day shopping.”

Round Brackets:

To offset non-essential information.

I went to Manchester (where Julie lives) and spent the day shopping.

Round brackets can replace dashes in this situation, but they create a stronger interruption in the flow of the sentence because we’re not used to seeing them in creative writing.

I would recommend not using round brackets like this because they can make your writing look amateurish.

To allow the narrator to whisper in the reader’s ear.

Harry ran from the room, leaving behind a footprint in the dust (that detail will be important later, so keep it in mind).

You can only use this technique if your story has a distinct narrator (present throughout the story and not just when you want to use brackets). The narrator is their own character, like in A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Curly and Square Brackets:

{Curly brackets} are used in mathematics, and [square brackets] are used in academic writing. Neither is used in creative writing.

Warning:

Adding variety to your story’s punctuation is good, but where commas and full stops go unnoticed, readers will register every dash, bracket, colon, and semicolon, so don’t overuse them.

Challenge:

Write a ficlet with a great opening and some special punctuation.

Your story is not to be beta read by anyone other than yourself. This exercise is designed to help you improve, which can only happen if you aren’t relying on a beta reader to fix everything for you.

The upward word count limit for this challenge is 900 words. There is a 10-word leeway. Use wordcounter.net to check your word count.

Please add an A/N at the end of your story with copies of the sentences on which you wish to be marked for the Grammar and Punctuation Section.

Points breakdown:

2 points for participation

Writing Technique

1 point for opening with a sentence that incites curiosity.

1 point for opening with a sentence that sets up a distinct tone.

1 point for introducing the main character early on.

1 point for introducing the inciting incident early on.

Grammar and Punctuation Section

1 point for using 2 different semicolon rules correctly.

1 point for being consistent with your dash use.

1 point for using 2 different dash rules correctly.

1 point for using brackets at least once.

Deductions

-0.75 for SPaG errors.

-1 for submission errors.

Creative Corner with Hemlock

Crossovers

A crossover is a work that combines two or more fandoms. Harry Potter is the fandom with the most crossover fics, so for this first round, I want you to show me the Harry Potter crossover of your dreams.

Pick one of your favourite fandoms and combine it in some way with the Harry Potter universe.
Both fandoms should be evident in your work.
Use whatever artistic medium you want (drabble, cross-stitching, painting, makeup art, etc.)
100 words max. Use wordcounter.net to check your word count.
Fact sheets and descriptions are not artistic mediums.
It should be your own work. No plagiarism!
No more than 1 submission per student.
No more than 3 submissions per school.
Submissions with a profound lack of originality or effort will not receive points.

Each submission will receive 3 points, and the winner will earn an extra 2 points. Deputies will vote for their favourite submission (excluding submissions sent by their school). Heads and admins will only vote if there is a tie.

Dear Severus Snape with Verity

Welcome to Dear Severus Snape: the agony aunt column with extra agony.

My name is Severus Snape, and I am clearly being punished; you dunderheads cannot seem to tie your shoelaces without emotional support. The only way I can bring balance is through my degrading responses.

In an attempt to curb my cutting remarks, there will be a “safe topic” each week. I don’t expect this to work, and I hope to be fired any day now.

As we don’t have a set theme for this issue, the editor felt I should read and review some of your submissions, and to limit my condescension, all “pieces” will feature me!

Your Best Chance by Verity Grahams

The first story I am reviewing is by Verity Grahams, my editor and stalker. I figured I would have something good to say because, quite frankly, her adoration of me is nauseating.

The story travels through the years, which must be exhilarating for Grahams because she can tell you I have a closer relationship with Minerva without actually showing how it happened. Sloppy. Apparently, the Head of Gryffindor House wanted to give me “my best chance”.

The opening was boring and inaccurate. I don’t cry; I don’t even have tear ducts. Then Grahams states that Lily and I cowered in fear at McGonagall’s scowl? Really, after my daddy dearest, Minnie’s scowl didn’t have much impact. What’s she going to do, give me detention?

Throughout the story, we see a teacher pitying a student and giving them things. In the real world, that’s called grooming. Grooming is bad. I have strict boundaries with my students for this reason, and I enforce them with mocking and spiteful name-calling.

Overall, this story cultivates understanding and pity for the main character. Grahams seems to want to justify her positive feelings towards a character that chose to be a Death Eater. The work itself attributes a murder to me (I will not confirm or deny), but during my time as a genuine Death Eater, I thoroughly enjoyed Muggle-baiting, likely because of my daddy issues. We all know I only changed because I didn’t want Lily to die.

In conclusion: hogwash.

Deep in the Shade of Memory by DrarryMadhatter

DarryMadhatter’s addition to the Severus Snape Fanfiction Archives is a mixture of accuracy and lunacy. She took what I can honestly say is the most traumatic memory of my life: my reunion with one Remus Lupin, and she made a mockery of it.

I suppose it makes a point about prejudice in the wizarding world, but when isn’t that the topic at IWSC? You need to give the students better themes!

Firstly, I don’t swear because I’m too intelligent to rely on crude wording to get my point across. Nor do I partake in alcohol; an abusive alcoholic father can have that effect on someone. Odgen’s is shit, by the way. I much prefer Blishen’s, particularly the fire cinnamon edition, and I certainly wouldn’t give any to Lupin!

DrarryMadhatter did get some things right. I even suspect that they might have spent some time as a spy. The thought process behind getting information is entirely accurate. Silence and patience: it makes people talk.

They are also the only person that agrees with me about emotions. Albus was always going on about getting in touch with my emotions. ‘You can better identify with the students, Severus,’ he would say. He even suggested that I might feel for Harry Bloody Potter! But DrarryMadhatter has it right: Emotions are for the weak.

Apart from this, the story was appalling. The raw emotion that she depicted would never occur between Lupin and me. Passionate murder is feasible, but scorching snogging is not. This ridiculous notion that Lupin would talk me off a ledge is … there are no words.

This story has the same issues that most fanfiction has; it’s polluted by baby Potter’s delusions because the books were from his point of view. You’re all idiots. You eat up this idea that the sun shone out of their backsides, and Severus Snape was just a loser.

Believing in the Impossible by Paceso

I liked ‘Believing in the Impossible’ because it focuses on my intellect. Paceso does get many things wrong — horribly wrong! — but she got the fact that I am a genius right, and therefore, she is pardoned. The story focuses on Lily’s daring Gryffindor plan to highlight my brilliance to all (which is so like her).

Contrary to popular belief, I do not show favouritism, so I will now point out everything that was inaccurate, wrong, and nonsensical about this fiction. Firstly, Lily would never have stood up for Slughorn, who, for the record, is surprisingly creepier than their portrayal. This was one of the few moments I felt that they dragged Lily’s name through the mud, another being when she goaded me. Lily is above such tawdry tactics.

As for Paceso’s portrayal of me, I am far too intelligent to be fooled by such methods. I am a clinical and logical thinker, and as such, I analyse situations and will change my mind accordingly. I am not swayed by frivolous emotions as demonstrated here. Secondly, of course, Flamel would want me as a protégé. Low self-esteem is not something I am plagued with.

While Paceso got important aspects of my character correct, I was disappointed to find that I had been written as though I were as stubborn as Black and Potter. I am not stubborn; I’m practically easygoing. Nor am I as vulnerable and needy as a Hufflepuff!

The final aspect of this story I would like to “analyse” is that of Dumbledore’s character. As with much of the drivel I have been forced to read in my time, he’s painted as a saint who just wanted to help all. I much prefer to think that Paceso was choosing to show how Dumbledore manipulates the emotions of the weak-minded and finds a way to take credit for other people’s intelligence. I find it hard to believe that this was the point as I seem to be one that was so taken in by his manipulations.

Overall, this fic was one of my favourites. Lily wasn’t as perfect as she was in real life, but I cannot fault Paceso for not being able to attain this; no one could achieve it. I also tip the hat to calling out Slughorn. While there were many flaws in how I was written, Paceso made up for it by showing just how gifted I am.

In Issue Two…

Start sending in your owls as I will now go back to providing sage advice. I have experienced a variety of familial problems throughout my life, and as such, I am more than equipped to provide advice on dealing with such situations.

Please only send questions regarding family dynamics; otherwise, I will delete your contributions.

Team Challenge with Verity

The trivia and puzzle challenges are now team challenges! This means that each school works together and your Deputy will send in the team’s answers. We will draw the schools with correct answers from a hat to get the points.

	A	B	C	D
1	My sister is in column B and I’m a redhead.	The man diagonally below me really liked magical creatures.	I’m the dead one.	The two sons that I always mix up are beside and below me.
2	I posed as the pet of the boy above me.	I am blonde as is the boy above me and the man at the bottom of this column, but we’re not related. The other person in our column is the youngest of her many siblings.	Below me is the sister of the love of my life.	I can’t look in mirrors.
3	I’m an Auror.	Somewhere in my row is a Minister and you will find my mother but not my father in this puzzle.	My sister is working for the MACUSA and is in the same row as I am.	My direct successor is below me.
4	I am friends with a werewolf and can transform into something similar.	My son is at the top of this column and one of the Ministers in this riddle is named after candy.	I taught DADA and am friends with only one other man in this row.	I used to be an Auror.

Each school should solve the character grid below. Practice your team thinking because next round, we will have a quiz created by Headmistress Lun, and it’s a doozy.

Beta How To with Accio

Self-beta

If you’ve been a competitor in IWSC before, you’ll know that beta-ing each other’s work is crucial for ensuring a team’s success. What if you’re new to writing or are a seasoned pro but haven’t had a chance to edit someone else’s work before? These articles will focus on the skills needed to make you a good beta reader and provide some helpful tips on editing with confidence.

Everyone edits their own work before sharing it, so this should be like teaching you all how to suck eggs, but it’s worth refreshing.

Fresh eyes

“My biggest tip would be to not do it the minute you finish. Do something else for an hour, a day (if you have the time), and then come back with a fresh mind.”
— Katie Alden, Durmstrang Headmistress

We all know how easy it is to get absorbed in what you’re writing. You open your laptop at 11 am, intending to write maybe a couple of hundred words, but all of a sudden, it’s 7 pm, you’ve not eaten, and you’ve written the first five chapters of a massively long fic.

When you’re this into your work, it’s easy to get tied to certain phrases or paragraphs that may not be doing your story justice, especially if they’re still fresh in your mind. If you’re struggling to see the wood for the trees, or can’t seem to cut out any of the unnecessary fillers, take a step away, even if it’s just to make a cup of tea or go for a short walk. Ideally, leave it for the night as sometimes ideas develop while you sleep. This should make it easier to read your work with a critical eye.

Use an online tool

“Don’t underestimate beta reading websites. Obviously, you need to read your work because no matter how smart a program is, it won’t pick up on everything, but certain websites can help.”
—Hemlock, Beauxbatons Headmistress, .

Whatever you use to write your stories, it will have a built-in spelling and grammar checking tool (which you should use before anything else). However, there are hundreds of online tools to help you without having to splash out on a premium subscription.

The free version of Grammarly will spot any basic grammar and spelling mistakes and advise on ways to fix them.
Hemingway Editor looks at sentence length and word choice and helps to make your writing look cleaner.
Reading your story aloud is the best way to spot any issues with pacing and repetition. NaturalReader can do this for you.

Using a handful of different apps might feel like overkill, but it will help to give excellent results with minimal effort.

Ctrl+f

“I usually use ctrl + f to look for words like ‘just’, ‘also’, words ending with ‘ly’ and ‘ing’, or phrases that I know I repeat.”
—Lun, Mahoutokoro Headmistress,

Whether you use Word or Docs, the “search” function on your word processing software can help find adverbs, overused phrases, or pointless words that don’t add meaning to your story.

Diana Urban, a popular creative writing blog, recommends a list of over 43 words you should stop using, including:

Really,
Very
That
Then
Totally,
Completely,
Absolutely,
Literally

Final tips

I asked our season four headmistresses and deputies for some extra tips, and they said:

Learn how to cut ruthlessly. If you find yourself skipping parts of your own story, those are boring for the reader, too. Delete anything that isn’t needed.
If you use more than one metaphor to describe the same thing, delete it.
Try to avoid long descriptions. Find a shorter and more precise way to phrase them. If you want to include details, focus on a few and make those interesting and important.
Keep track of the things your betas point out and look for them while editing.

“Remember that your second draft won’t necessarily be perfect! And your third draft won’t necessarily be perfect! Don’t be too hard on yourself because the point of editing is to make things better, not perfect.”
—IWSC judge

The IWSC League Table

School	Place	This Round	Points	MVP
Hogwarts	–	x	x	x
Beauxbatons	–	x	x	x
Mahoutokoro	–	x	x	x
Durmstrang	–	x	x	x
Ilvermounry	–	x	x	x

Feel free to contribute to other aspects of the paper by sending a private message to the Competition account. We are always looking for pieces of fanart and even your thoughts or recommendations. Even if you want to send a message to someone in the competition that you think has excelled, or maybe they helped you out? Send it to Aunt Molly! Anything else should be sent to Wizarding School Championship. The subject line should be “Wizarding World News: [Name the section of the paper you are writing about]”.

Season Four Issue One