The Wizarding World News
- Writing School with Ash
- Creative Corner with Hemlock
- Dear Severus Snape with Verity
- Competition Queries with Katie Alden
- Team Challenge with Ruhi
- Beta How To with Accio
- League Table
Follow all important events of the International Wizarding School Championship here in the Wizarding World News. We also have a live Twitter feed, Facebook and an Instagram account for you to get day by day updates!
Judges’ Picks
Year 1: Worthy by cheesyficwriter HOGWARTS
This interesting story focuses on Ron Weasley and Hugh Granger, a pairing that isn’t often explored. Despite the serious topic, there are a lot of great one-liners and heartfelt moments. The excellent pacing allows readers to feel like they’re sitting at the dinner table with the Grangers as they interrogate their daughter’s boyfriend.
Year 2: She is Triumphant: A Legacy of Pain by adavision ILVERMORNY
I was captivated by Antonin’s emotional journey, from his childhood trauma to the guilt he still feels for his actions during the war (and ultimately the forgiveness he needs but doesn’t feel he deserves). The imagery—especially the author’s use of colour—is incredibly powerful, not just drawing the reader closer but pulling them right into the scene and holding them there until the end.
Year 3: Moonlight Soliloquy by CutewithAcapital-Q HOGWARTS
A heartfelt look into what makes Sirius Black tick, this story really shows the true depth of his emotions for Harry, for James and Lily, and most of all for Remus. Written in a unique stream-of-consciousness way, the revelations it contains and the pure rawness of the aptly-named ‘Moonlight Soliloquy’ will stay with you for days.
Year 4: Not A Hufflepuff by be11artrixthestrange HOGWARTS
The author has managed to take a character that is often loathed in canon and provide a sympathetic outlook on their behaviour and actions without compromising on the canon traits. Zacharias is still a slime but is clearly a product of his environment. We see him internally reconcile with accepting himself as a Hufflepuff even if he has to go to lengths to show otherwise. Using a sympathetic character like Susan, we are truly made to believe their relationship is genuine and a possibility.
Year 5: Shades of Red and Green by smjl HOGWARTS
I honestly can’t find a single fault in this story. It’s technically well put together, has strong characters mixed with the perfect pace. I wish I could read a 100K fic with these characters and the way you wrote them, but at the same time I really don’t because this story was perfect just as it is as a one-shot.
Writing School with Ash
Writing Technique:
Show Me the World – Writing Descriptions
There are four major problems I’ve seen in your stories when it comes to descriptions.
- Info-Dumping.
Info-dumping is what happens when a writer dumps a huge amount of information on readers instead of conveying that information slowly and organically as the story unfolds. Info-dumping is common with:
- Backstory.
Hermione checked her dress in the bedroom mirror. It was the best one she owned, and she hoped it would make her stand out. Her recent divorce still stung her pride, so she needed to look good tonight. She hadn’t seen her ex-husband since they signed the papers, and the spiteful part of her wanted to make him regret his decision to leave her.
That’s an info-dump.
Hermione smoothed a crease from her dress and patted flyaway curls against her scalp. Sleekeazy Hair Potion clung to her fingers, and she cleaned it off, ignoring the bareness of her ring finger.
A lot of what was said in the first example isn’t mentioned in the second one because it either isn’t interesting, repeats itself, or isn’t relevant to the plot at that moment. The second example also shows instead of tells.
A bit of suspense will keep readers interested. Drop clues but wait until the information is necessary before revealing it.
- Worldbuilding.
“Hogwarts was built over a thousand years ago by the four Founders: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. You’ll love it there. It’s the best place on earth, although it’s difficult to navigate at first.”
The best way to avoid worldbuilding info-dumps is to assume that your readers already know everything your POV character does.
Introduce details bit by bit (the first time the Hogwarts Founders are mentioned is in the second book because they aren’t relevant to the first one).
Remember that readers don’t need to know everything you know. J.K. Rowling gave wand woods and cores meanings, but she didn’t list them in the books because that information wasn’t important to the plot or characters.
- Inactive Descriptions.
The second problem I see most often is when a description conveys necessary information but does so in a boring way.
The tents were set up in a circle around the campfire. Their canvases were off-white, and each slept three people, although it would be a tight squeeze. The night was cold, and everyone stayed close to the flames, huddling for warmth and light amid the dark conifer trees. No campfire stories were being told; everyone was too busy listening to the howling wind and hugging themselves, praying for morning and sunlight.
That description is lethargic.
Sticking close to the off-white tents and avoiding the darkness that lies beyond the tree line, I circle the camp’s perimeter. My classmates huddle around the fire, but the bag of marshmallows sits by Susie’s feet, unopened. We all listen to the fire’s growl and the wind’s scream. Everything else is mournfully quiet. This is where our walk to the gallows begins. If we can’t survive until morning, we’ll be tying nooses of our own making around our necks.
Notice how this description:
- never uses the passive voice.
- gets rid of details that aren’t interesting in the current scene like the number of people assigned to each tent.
- adds specific details that readers can focus on like the bag of marshmallows.
- uses senses other than sight.
- uses the characters’ actions to bring the setting to life.
- State-of-being verbs.
The three state-of-being verbs that often make for terrible descriptions are ‘seem’, ‘be’, and ‘look’. These verbs are active but feel passive, and they tell instead of show.
She seems angry. → Her fists clench.
The example that doesn’t include the state of being verb uses a more detailed description.
I am wearing a dress. → The dress hugs my figure.
The second sentence gives readers a better visual.
The water looks hot. → The water steams.
The second sentence lets readers see exactly what the narrator does.
- Over-Explaining.
Over-explaining happens when you don’t trust your reader to understand what you’re trying to say. A lot of writers add these surplus explanations without even realising it. To avoid this, be careful of:
- Adverbs.
Not all adverbs are bad. Some, like “early” and the non -ly ones, are unavoidable, and in certain situations, even -ly adverbs are all right. You wouldn’t replace “He held her gently” with “He held her in a gentle manner.”
However, many writers are guilty of overusing adverbs, so I want you to bend over backwards to avoid the -ly ones.
The three types of awful adverbs are:
- Redundant adverbs.
“Whispered quietly”, “gripped tightly”, “hoped silently”, etc. these adverbs repeat what the verbs already say.
- Weak modifiers.
“Said quietly”, “held tightly”, “walked quickly”, etc. these adverbs change the meaning of their verbs, which means you need to change the verbs. “Whispered”, “gripped”, “dashed”.
- Meaningless adverbs.
“Really”, “very”, “definitely”, “actually”, “extremely”, “truly”, etc. these adverbs have next to no meaning, so get rid of them.
- Unnecessary clarifications.
I’ve seen a lot of writers follow certain actions with “in + emotion” or “with + emotion”.
He frowned in confusion, and she sighed with frustration.
Some of you do it with “of” after a noun as well.
He gave a wince of pain, and tears of joy sprang from her eyes.
When you do this, you aren’t trusting readers to understand your characters’ actions. Readers are smart; they don’t need everything spelt out for them. Delete the clarification and ask your beta readers if the emotion you’re trying to convey is clear.
Grammar and Punctuation Section:
Tenses
In fictional writing, there are two main tenses from which to choose: the past tense and present tense. Most writers favour one over the other, but both have their advantages and disadvantages.
- The past tense.
– Simple past: I wrote.
– Past progressive: I was writing.
– Past perfect: I had written.
– Past perfect progressive: I had been writing.
– Habitual past: I would write every week. (This can turn into the future conditional if you’re not careful. “I told him I would write to him ever week” uses the future conditional and not the past habitual)
- How to describe a past event using the past tense:
“I remembered that day. I had just won a big bingo prize.”
The first sentence is written in the simple past; the second one is in the past perfect and shows that an action takes place in the past.
The past perfect is useful, but it’s bulky so only use it when you really need to.
For example, you can use the past perfect to establish that an event takes place in the past and then switch back to the simple past.
Ron had been comfortable in his bed when Ginny barged into his room.
You can also use time stamps, which can remove the need for the past perfect entirely.
An hour ago, Ron was comfortable in bed; now he was freezing his fingers off in the Great Lake.
If the past event is part of a flashback, make sure to use line breaks before and after the flashback to give readers a visual indication of what’s going on (do not use italics for flashbacks).
- What are the verbs that writers often get wrong in the past tense?
- The past tense of “will” is “would”.
- The past tense of “can” is “could”.
- The past tense of “lay” is “laid” (this is a transitive verb; it always takes an object).
- The past tense of “lie” is “lay” (this is an intransitive verb. You can replace it with “sit” or “sat”).
- “Might” is better than “may” in past tense sentences.
- The present tense.
– Simple present: I write.
– Present progressive: I am writing.
– Present perfect: I have written.
– Present perfect progressive: I have been writing.
- How to describe a past event using the present tense:
He sprained his ankle, and now he walks with a limp.
The first verb is in the simple past; the second one in the simple present.
When writing in the present tense, use the past simple to describe past events, not the past perfect.
- What are the mistakes that many writers make when using the present tense?
Writers get caught up with describing everything that happens in a scene because it’s happening “live”, so the story gets drowned in “he pushes his chair away from his desk and stands” or “she walks across the corridor and down the stairs”.
Unless those actions are somehow important, shorten them: “he stands” and “she went to (wherever)”.
- The subjunctive.
Many people write, If I was brave, I would… or I wish I was…
But if you’re expressing an imagined scenario, you should be using the subjunctive.
If I were brave, I would do it. I wish I were better at this.
Warning: Watch out for shifting tenses.
If you’re writing in the past tense, stick to the past tense all the time. The only places you can use the present tense are in dialogue, italicised character thoughts, and in expressions like “God knows” that are always in the present tense.
If you’re writing in the present tense, but you’re used to writing and reading in the past tense, be extra careful not to shift to the past tense. Reading your story aloud can save you from this mistake.
Challenge:
Write a ficlet with plenty of descriptions and include different tenses. You do not need to write a flashback scene.
Your story is not to be beta read by anyone other than you. This exercise is designed to help you improve, which can only happen if you aren’t relying on a beta reader to fix everything for you.
The word count limit for this challenge is 900 words.
Each school can submit only 4 writing school stories.
Please add an A/N at the end of your story with copies of the sentences you wish to be marked on for the Grammar and Punctuation Section.
Optional Prompts:
[Action] Serving
[Genre] Horror
[Setting] Aeroplane
Points breakdown:
| 2 points for participation. |
| Writing Technique |
| 1 point for adding something new to the wizarding world that requires world-building—it can be a place, a religion, a custom, etc. |
| 1 point for not info-dumping. |
| 1 point for making all descriptions active. |
| 1 point for not using any adverbs that end in -ly. |
| Grammar and Punctuation Section |
| 1 point for sticking with your chosen tense and not switching at random. |
| 1 point for using the right tense for past events. |
| 1 point for using at least two of the problem verbs correctly (copy the sentences in an A/N at the end of your story). |
| 1 point for using the subjunctive (copy the sentence in an A/N at the end of your story). |
| Deductions |
| -0.75 for SPaG errors. |
| -1 for submission errors. |
Creative Corner with Hemlock
The winner of last week’s challenge is smjl from Hogwarts:
I wish there was an easy way
To gather things I’ve left astray
My coffee’s in the other room
And what’s a witch like me to do?
My dog’s asleep, I can’t get up
For who could wake a sleeping pup?
I simply say my favorite spell
(Though what it is I’ll never tell)
My coffee flies right through the air
And not a drop spills anywhere
I take a sip, enjoy the taste
This magic stuff is really great!
Gender Exploration
One of the great things about reading is that no two people imagine a character the same way. The author supplies some of the information, and from that, we build a person. I want to see what your favourite Harry Potter character would look like if they were a different gender.
The previous issue’s original challenge caused a few problems. The last thing we want to be here is insensitive or create a non-safe space, so we’ve made some changes.
- Nothing non-consensual. As in character A can’t change character B’s gender without character B’s consent.
- Gender isn’t binary. Feel free to explore any aspect of it you want.
- Gender isn’t about physical characteristics. The character does not need to go through a bodily transformation.
- No fetishisation.
Other than that, the same rules apply:
- Pick your favourite Harry Potter character and change their gender.
- Use whatever artistic medium you want (haiku, cosplay, sculpture, drawing, etc.)
- 100 words max. Use wordcounter.net to check your word count.
- Fact sheets and descriptions are not artistic mediums.
- It should be your own work. No plagiarism!
- No more than 1 submission per student.
- No more than 3 submissions per school.
- Submissions with a profound lack of originality or effort will not receive points.
Each school is allowed 3 submissions. Each submission will receive 3 points, and the winner will earn an extra 2 points. Deputies will vote for their favourite submission (excluding submissions sent by their school). Heads and admins will only vote to break a tie.
Dear Severus Snape with Verity
Welcome to Dear Severus Snape.
The only article in the wizarding world that condones the capture of unsuspecting professors and forces them to dole out advice. Said professor wouldn’t mind, but as he is advising the most dull-witted group of writers he has ever had the misfortune to come across, it seems like a terrible waste of Spellotape.
In an effort to educate, I am answering queries of an intellectual nature—I hope. Owls have flocked to my cell, showered it with faeces, and left a mountain of letters regarding your educational woes. Here goes nothing…
Dear Professor Snape,
I received my class schedule this morning and was shocked to find that Hogwarts does not require its students to attend courses on mathematics and literature.
Is it assumed that, at age eleven, we have attained the pinnacle of knowledge in these subjects?
It is a severe oversight and one that leaves us woefully unprepared should we wish to have a career outside the ministry. Not all students are adept at independent study and need instruction.
What can we expect from Hogwarts staff to remedy this issue?
Sincerely,
A Disgruntled Student
Dear Disgruntled Student,
I can only assume that you are a Muggleborn. Muggle parents are lazy, relying on the education system to provide all scholastic edification to their children. It is not so in the wizarding world. Parents provide this education and prepare students to study areas of interest further in their later years. Those smart enough, though I assume this isn’t you, are able to learn advanced magical mathematics – it’s called Arithmancy – in their third year. I don’t expect you will be capable of taking that option.
We also expect you to be able to read and write before you come to us. If you cannot, you will not have what it takes to qualify as a witch or wizard. You will then be able to go back to your blessed Muggle educational establishments.
Sincerely,
Severus Snape
Dear Professor Snape,
Do you have any advice on how to juggle multiple assignments? I am drowning in essays here, and I have research with lecturers on top of that.
A Student
Dear Student,
It is becoming increasingly evident that Hogwarts’ standards have fallen of late. There are students who have taken double the amount of classes that are allowed. They might have been an insufferable know-it-all, but at least they weren’t educationally redundant.
Sincerely
Severus Snape
Dear Professor Snape,
You are my last hope since Professor Slughorn doesn’t seem to care.
There might be someone in class that’s cheating. That someone might have found a suspicious book with some notes that differ from the proper curriculum and might have taken advantage of that situation, getting false grades and the admiration of Professor Slughorn. Which I don’t care about, I swear.
What am I to do in this hypothetical situation? It is not fair for the rest of the class that he gets better grades than me! Them, I mean them.
Sincerely conflicted,
Former top student
HJG
Dear Ms Granger,
It became obvious to me that Potter had some method of cheating the moment he was able to excel in any way in potions. Rest assured, I am on the case, and I have been all year!
You don’t fool me. You have always thrived on the praise of your betters.
Sincerely
Severus Snape
Dear Severus Snape,
Help! I’m an orphan who doesn’t know about her lineage and was sorted into Slytherin. Slytherins think I’m a *ahem* m******d *ahem* and don’t miss any chance to mock, bully, and outright hurt me. The other three houses hate and distrust me because I was sorted into Slytherin. What should I do?
A Snake Who Desperately Needs Help
Dear Snake in Hufflepuff’s Clothing,
This is clearly a mis-sorting. Were you a true Slytherin, you would have already used your cunning to provide the counter-arguments required to end such torture. Also, Slytherins are renowned for their self-preservation, don’t be such a Hufflepuff and fight back!
Sincerely
Severus Snape
I fear that it is becoming abundantly clear that this article is something of a public service. You are all in desperate need of my help and honestly, I have no idea how you have managed thus far without me. It is for that reason that, though it pains me, I will endure this torture for as long as I must.
In the next edition, I will be looking for letters regarding all of your friendship woes. I will say, this is not my strongest area, but I feel it’s because I don’t suffer fools and 90% of the population fall into that category.
I did maintain a friendship for many many years with one Lily Evans. Considering her allegiance to Gryffindor and desire to marry a brave bumpkin, I would consider it miraculous that it lasted as long as it did.
Beta How To with Accio
So, you’ve self-edited your story, and you’re ready for it to go to Beta. If you’ve not used a beta reader before, the process can be daunting. Our writing is the contents of our heart poured out onto paper (or onto word processing software), and it’s terrifying to present it for someone to provide feedback.
We’re lucky in IWSC because our school set-up means we don’t have to look for a beta reader, and we’re already grouped together. But before you submit your story for the rest of the team to edit for you, it’s useful to consider these pointers first.
Decide how many betas you need
You might have already discussed how many edits a story will go through before it’s submitted as a school. Some schools require everyone to do a beta read, but others may prefer only two. Each student will have their own unique strengths and abilities and can find different problems and positives in your story.
But be careful of inviting too much feedback, as the conflicting advice may mean you lose your voice or the tone of your story.
Decide what you want from a beta reader
Feedback is great, but if you’re struggling in a certain area and all of your betas have overlooked this, then you won’t get any benefit from having someone look at your story.
When you submit your story for beta-ing, it’s important that you specify what type of feedback you’re looking for. Here are a few areas (although this list is non-exhaustive):
- Areas they felt were missing something or weren’t developed enough.
- Sections or scenes superfluous to the story.
- Anything they didn’t understand or found confusing.
- The flow and pace.
- And (specifically for IWSC) the strength of the theme and prompts throughout the story.
If it helps, you could always send your beta readers some questions.
Preparing yourself to receive feedback
Getting positive feedback can be a boost to your self-esteem, but what if your beta readers don’t like your story, or they’ve made a million suggestions that you can’t even bear to read through? Dealing with beta feedback is where many writers give up, especially because sifting through conflicting advice can be overwhelming.
If you feel that panic bubbling up, it’s important to stop and take a deep breath. Remind yourself that it isn’t a personal attack. With your ego out of the equation, it’ll be easier to focus on the writing, but remember:
- Although writing fanfiction is a hobby, we’re in a competition, and the goal is to get as many points as you can for your team. You can’t do that without constructive criticism.
- Your betas only want to help you submit a strong story; they’re not here to tear you down or upset you.
- Having problem areas doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer or have to scrap your story.
- You don’t have to accept every piece of advice you get. Trust your gut.
Implementing feedback
It’s essential to evaluate all of the feedback you’ve received and decide what to revise. As the author, you have the power to accept or reject feedback.
Before you start rewriting entire chunks of your story, go through each comment and make one decision: keep or delete.
Comments like “you’ve used ‘eye’s three times in two sentences” or “the others didn’t notice the door?? They’ve been there for half an hour already”, you want to keep. But something like “I like the disjointedness of the beginning.” Well, you can just delete it.
Once you’ve sifted through the comments, dig deeper. If there is more than one comment on something, that’s a red flag. But it’s not just about answering their questions—you need to understand the missing story elements.
Don’t forget to say thank you
We don’t pay our teammates to edit our stories for us, so it’s important to show your appreciation for all their hard work, even if you disagree with most of their feedback. The most important thing you can do, especially for this competition, is return the favour and conduct a beta read for your fellow students.
The International Wizarding School Competition League Table
| School | Place | This Round | Points | MVP |
| Hogwarts | 1st | 198 | 369 | SMJI |
| Beauxbatons | 2nd | 184 | 356 | LoverLoverLover |
| Ilvermorny | 3rd | 160 | 342.75 | DrarryMadhatter |
| Durmstrang | 4th | 119.25 | 241.75 | Keepsmiling |
| Mahoutokoro | 5th | 67.5 | 145 | Kokoro |
Feel free to contribute to other aspects of the paper by sending a private message to the Competition account. We are always looking for pieces of fanart and even your thoughts or recommendations. Even if you want to send a message to someone in the competition that you think has excelled, or maybe they helped you out? Send it to Aunt Molly! Anything else should be sent to Wizarding School Championship. The subject line should be “Wizarding World News: [Name the section of the paper you are writing about]”.
Wizarding World News 